


butterfly

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-09
Updated: 2010-05-09
Packaged: 2019-01-30 21:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Fly abandonedly into the sun.





	butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. Loosely based on Mariah Carey’s [Butterfly](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Butterfly-lyrics-Mariah-Carey/F8A74EDAF07A6CD248256862001363CB) minus the romantic lovey shit.

Out of everyone, Ueda was probably the least surprised. At the rest of his group’s reactions, as well, including his own – he hasn’t seen such failure at hiding true reactions since the _last_ time Jin left. At least nobody had to hold Koki back this time.

It was only natural that history would repeat itself. All of the signs pointed to it, the better part of the past year where Jin was given opportunities to do his own thing and shine by himself. As ex-leader, Ueda should be proud. And he is, more than anyone will ever know.

They don’t have to be friends in order to know each other. The quietest of the six when they’re together, Ueda notices things whether he cares to or not, little things that could never be learned from any interview or soul-searching conversation. After nearly ten years of co-existing together, Ueda can say with quite certainty that he _knows_ them. He’s watched them all grow up, make mistakes, break down, gradually molding into their adult selves.

No one has changed more than Jin. The once excitable teenager who has calmed down considerably in recent years, going from the kid who wouldn’t shut up to the adult who hardly speaks because he doesn’t have anything to say. He’s still beautiful, his face hardening with age but still as bright as ever, his mind a mass of dreams and logic that Ueda doesn’t think he will ever understand.

What he does understand is that in order for Jin to be to be happy, he needs to follow his heart. Even if his heart isn’t in Japan with his group. Kame was the first one to voice what everyone thought, “you will hate yourself forever if you miss this chance,” even if Ueda was selfishly adding “and resent us forever as well.”

Not for one second did anyone think that Jin wanted them to talk him into staying, assure him how important he is to the group or guilt him with complaints about new choreography and reassigning vocals. In that fateful meeting room where their summer would be changed, Nakamaru was already accepting Jin’s lines as his own and Kame was resurfacing old five-member dances while adjusting the rest of them in his head.

Koki had been squeezing his fists, but once he got over his initial rage, he had calmed down and wished Jin well with absolute sincerity. Ueda remembers Jin making fun of Koki’s J-web regarding the situation, calling him sappy and gay, and Koki played along while looking pleased.

That is just how KAT-TUN rolls.

Now that Jin’s gone, Ueda feels a sense of pride towards him. He’s in no way responsible for the adult that Jin has become, but that doesn’t stop his heart from swelling in memory of the genuine smile that graced Jin’s face when they made the announcement, which brightened at the support from all five of them and was practically blinding when they saw him off to the airport.

This butterfly was finally spreading his wings and flying on his own. Ueda finds the analogy strangely appropriate, even if Jin seems to have skipped the cocoon stage completely, awkwardly flapping around this entire time in his net. It was only a matter of time before he tore through it.

Questions have been raised about Jin’s return. Six months, a nation-wide tour, possibly meeting up with the rest of them in Hawaii. Ueda doesn’t know any more than anyone else, including Jin. It all depends on his success as a solo _English_ performer and what Johnny-san wants him to do. Things will be different if he doesn’t come back, that much is certain, but if it’s because he’s happily amazing everyone on an American stage instead of a Japanese one, it’s worth the change.

“Very subtle, Tatsuya,” Kame hisses backstage at Music Station, nudging Ueda’s elbow and gesturing to the decal on his face. “You may as well take a life-size cardboard replica out on stage and dance with it.”

“He would _kill_ us,” Koki presumes fondly.

Taguchi’s face lights up. “Let’s do it!”

“We’re not doing it,” Ueda says sternly, hiding a smile.

Maru clears his throat. “You know, Arashi showed a prerecorded video of Sho-kun dancing on the monitor behind them while he was away commentating the Olympics.”

Ueda glances toward the others one-by-one, then they all choke on their laughter at the same second. He’s glad they can be in sync for _something_ after all of these years.

It’s possibly the most relaxing performance Ueda has ever had.

And a few days later, when Jin’s had time to download and properly mock it, Ueda feels like this is the right path to be on. He looks forward to snagging the inevitable fancams of Jin’s live and returning the favor.

In the meantime, Ueda shows his support with the butterfly sticker. It’s obvious but he doesn’t care. The fangirls will think what they want anyway, as will Kame. Jin’s departure didn’t change anything between the rest of them; they’re still the same KAT-TUN they’ve always been, just minus the one who is desired somewhere else. For now.

Flutter through the sky, one amazing butterfly.


End file.
